Feeling flushed — and, surprisingly, it’s not with embarrassment . . .
Published on: 04 Feb 2015
Jayne Taylor tries to beat the bloat with some colonic hydrotherapy
DIANE Hobbs is passionate about her job. She doesn’t just love it; her knowledge of it is second to none. And that suddenly seems all the more reassuring as I prepare to have a stranger insert a tube up my bottom and pump several tanks of water around my colon.
Thankfully, Diane doesn’t seem a stranger for long and by the time we’ve gone through a detailed health consultation there is little to be embarrassed about. A stool chart makes me laugh as Diane asks which picture most closely resembles my own. ‘Ooh, number four, yes definitely’. According to Diane, I have perfect stools. Don’t you just love a compliment?
Diane, whose official title is colonic hydrotherapist, has a lovely (couch-side) manner and following a blood pressure check we are ready to roll. Thanks to an Agatha Christie-esque trick of mirrors I can see the results of my treatment immediately - my body is ridding itself of toxic waste matter as gravity-fed filtered warm water flushes my system. The thought of feeling cleansed is addictive and I watch in fascination as Diane massages my stomach, giving me the best chance to eliminate as much waste as possible.
“The waste is just poison sat there,” explains 54-year-old Diane, who operates from Silhouette in Quakers Road, Downend.
“You have five feet of bowel so waste can get stuck and the longer it stays in you the harder and dryer it gets. It’s not good to hold onto it - it’s just rotting food.”
There are numerous rumours doing the rounds about coins swallowed 30 years ago leaving your system and strange glow-in-the-dark unidentified masses being passed but I don’t spot anything unusual. It was just waste. And lots of it.
Diane says the health benefits are numerous and colonic hydrotherapy can help with IBS, headaches, fatigue, bloating and skin conditions like eczema and psoriasis.
My actual treatment takes around 45 minutes and during this time an incredible 60 litres of water travels through my colon.
“If you eat three times a day you should be going to the toilet three times a day but that would be unusual for most people,” Diane says.
“Colonic hydrotherapy can help regulate your bowels because the water softens the waste. When I squeeze the pipe, the water stretches your bowel muscles and adds tone. This will help you go to the toilet more often.”
Diane, who had been a state registered nurse for 34 years before training in colonic hydrotherapy, has built up quite an army of fans. Her reviews (undoctored) on the Free Index website are impressive, with many saying they felt apprehensive but were soon put at ease by Diane’s friendly and professional manner.
“I see all sorts of different people - everybody and anybody, men and women from all walks of life,” Diane tells me.
“I have someone who comes to me who is aged 18 and I also see an 84-year-old. But what they all have in common is the desire to be healthy. They’re looking after their bodies.”
At the end of my session I feel far less bloated and my stomach looks smaller. I jump on the scales and I’ve lost three pounds. A weight loss isn’t guaranteed though, as clients can sometimes temporarily put on weight because of the body’s absorption of water.
But for me, the psychological effects far outweigh the physical ones - the thought of all that horrible old waste leaving my body is amazing. I feel euphoric and pleased to have, for want of a better phrase, taken the plunge.
To find out more, visit Diane’s website www.colonic-therapy.co.uk or call her on 0117 244 3537.